


A collection of faulty memories

by Gay_as_fuck



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: Angst, Gen, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 11:22:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8576581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gay_as_fuck/pseuds/Gay_as_fuck
Summary: For forgetting your best friend and wondering why there is a hole in your heart.





	

Wakaba forgot slowly. Utena, her best friend, was not erased for her mind in an instant like it was for girls who only knew her by name or by the black of her uniform. Despite all the kisses she had shared with so many boys, and all the dreams she had dreamt of her onion prince Utena had been her one true love. So in a way Utena was never forgotten because a heart never forgets true love. 

 

However it is the bits and pieces that make up love, and without quirks and ticks who is a person. No one exists without flaws, and though some may tell you otherwise they are wrong. So In another way Utena was forgotten.

 

In the early days however, after swords came crashing down and Wakaba had rung her friend’s doorbell only to learn she wasn’t there, she remembered fully. Her mind was full of wondering and worry for Utena. She still made her lunches with hearts, and always packed extra just incase she saw her best friend. 

 

However during those times she was so caught up in worry for Utena she never stopped to think why she was worried. She could never recall if she was worried for her friend because she had gotten badly hurt, or because she was off at a new school. Had the tomboy been attacked or expelled it didn’t matter because Wakaba was worried.

 

The worry passed however, with more and more of Utena. Wakaba still packed her lunches with hearts but made only what she would eat. Instead of eating alone by the tree on the hill where she, Utena, and Anthy had enjoyed such wonderful times she ate in the cafeteria. 

 

She still bickered and joked with those she was eating with but it was not Utena who answered her questions. Her place at the table was with the triplet boys, all so similar. An assortment of other girls joined there as well.

 

In the old days they would have come just to gather around Utena and watch the girl. When it was just Wakaba there were less however, and they came to talk not to marvel at the pink haired girl. 

 

Some days as she ate Wakaba would even look at the hearts in her lunch and ask herself, who had she made those for. The persistent memories of Utena would barge in and ruin her moment of peace. Panic would soar for a moment in her heart, and then it would be gone. 

 

Utena had left the school’s coffin, and to those inside it she was no more than a memory. The basketball team would scratch their heads at each loss and ask, why does it feel like we’re missing a team member. However they would move on. Juri would often look up at the walk ways around the main fencing club hall for what seemed to be no reason at all. She would just smile softly, shake her head, and move on.

 

Wakaba didn’t notice as slowly the hole in her heart was filled. Soon she had a new best friend who would come up behind her and shower her in good graces. In years she would wonder why she always felt like their roles should be reversed.

 

Utena’s name would appear every once and awhile. No matter where the name was, it was talked of and then like everything, glossed over. When the school expanded and more people moved into the east dorm one student would ask “Who was Utena”.

 

People would talk as they always do, and Wakaba for a moment remembered her best friend. At that point she had not yet forgotten, instead the jock had been moved to the back of her mind. She would remind people of the pink haired girl who dressed like a boy, and most of them would nod to show a bell had rung somewhere in their head. 

 

Some students didn’t nod when reminded of the girl. They remained quizzical and slightly confused, but it was soon to be forgotten. In the grand scheme of things Utena was just an unusual girl who had gone to a rather usual school.

 

To the world, weather there was or was not a Utena Tenjou didn’t matter; and neither it seemed did Wakaba’s small world. With each sunrise Wakaba would forget more and more of the friend she had always been so eager to see.

 

The moment she truly forgot Utena is lost to time. Some point, on some regular day the last traces of the irregular girl drifted away on the wind. Worlds do not end in car crashes, hearts do not break with a single smash. It happens slowly, for hearts and worlds endure more than they ever should have to. 

 

The last evidence of the existence of a girl called Utena Tenjou left one morning when Wakaba got out of bed and went to prepare for the day. She slowly put together her lunch while humming a little song.

 

Her roommate had woken up earlier, and was sipping coffee as she read the paper. However she stood and came over to steal a bite of whatever Wakaba was making. She leaned over Wakaba’s shoulder to see the girl absentmindedly forming hearts.

 

“Why are you making hearts?” She asked softly.

 

Wakaba jolted for a second, coming back into reality. She looked at the hearts, done carefully with practiced efficiency. She felt as if they were for something or someone she cared for. In the split second she examined her life for whatever these hearts were for she found almost nothing. Just a flash of pink, a smile, and the feeling of a farewell.

 

“I don’t know”


End file.
